Thoughts from Ekka!

Woo….time passed indeed! Ekka is around the corner liao!

When ppl around me r discussing about this event (even my manager keep asking other colleagues!), Yabbie reminded me that I shud take a look at this event as I missed it last year!

It seems that last year, at this time, I was stuck in the college trying my best 2 finish my assignments so that I’ll b able 2 return home 4 the graduation ceremony… ppl around me at that time were excited with this event, and didn’t quite understand why on earth my only interest was 2 stay in the room flooded by tonnes of journals… and now, my interest is still the same (guess yabbie’s glaring at me from somewhere)

My mind now is quite messy I wud say… recent happenings & last years’ flash back keep playing in my mind… esp 2 those ppl who r close 2 me…

1. Prince 0.5 told me that he broke up wiv his gf, although I was damn angry with the way he solved problems, but as a fren who hv known him for years, I advised him 2 do what I think he shud do in order 2 hv no regrets in life… although some frens said my position in doing so is pretty awkward, still, if I hv 2 do it again, I would!

When prince 0.5 told me that he was able 2 sleep well the moment he decided 2 confront the issues, I thank god 4 letting me knowing this. At least, I hv done something that’s helping him. During my high school years, he’s one of those close frens who was there 4 me through thick & thin. I hv always felt that I hv done so little as a fren. And now, the time has come 4 me 2 help him in return.

2. perhaps due 2 my reaction towards the above issue, some frens were shocked (babe and yabbie were speechless at least..hoho)… frankly, if I hv no reaction at all, it won’t b me… I hv no idea since when, I started 2 feel numb towards things around me, its so bloody hard 2 make something touch my heart. Crying is easy but that does not mean my heart is touched. In life, I hv met frens who always advise me not 2 hv such hyperactive mood swings

well.. at least I’m not reacting that way every day, just once in a while towards ppl & things that I care most (cos I don’t give a damn 2 anything! :P) … this is how I know life of which I hope in being that way, I’ll b able 2 touch life and being touched in return…

no offence towards ppl who are always in low profile, but I hv always felt that there’s always time in everybd’s life, in which you will hv 2 react in a hyper way… haha.. or else, it wud b full of pretend-ness… pretending nothing matters, pretending that person’s presence won’t make u cringe, pretending by being low profile things will b over… mai siao la, I won’t believe that..at least it won’t help 2 ease things in my life!

3. the course in Gatton campus is indeed a turning point in life… at the same time, I was being perceived as a beautiful asian girl who’s keen of looking at gorgeous guys at the beach… =.=” well, this is not surprising provided the fact that there’s once in my life I was being asked if I was dumb as I reacted 2 nothing and didn’t talk for more than an hour in front of strangers…

my conclusion is that, I hv always lived in others’ expectation and I felt suffocated in trying 2 keep up wiv the way they hope I’ll bcome or who they think I shud b. its time I learn 2 let go of those and b happy that I can still b who I wanna b…

ya, I’m not like what u think I am… pakai alomo (tagalong: the hell u care! So what?)

p/s: thanks alexi for teaching me this term!! ^_^