今年，我要什么？

也许最近公司里太多人病倒，搞到气氛死沉沉的，而我也因为持续头疼却硬撑着上班，午夜又徘徊在梦里与梦醒的边缘，尝试放下心里一直挣扎的那份在乎，导致身心没喘息的机会。在没胃口的日子竟然能让体重增加，我真的有点惊讶。刀马旦很担心我的状况，一直提醒我在接下来的周末一定要回家，仔细一想才发现原来是本人的生日将到！

原以为自己要得是那筹备已久的藏青或不丹之旅，但这一刻，我发现我只想放长假去一个地方，回端络，刀马旦的家乡。

• 我，很想回到外婆的怀抱，抱着她，把自己对远方的思念与执着释放出来
• 我想盘腿坐在外公缝制的帆布床上，抱着枕头什么也不做，静静地看着后门的那棵老树在凉风中舞动，然后像以往的每一次，我会找到心中的平静
• 我也想七早八早爬起床去吃容姨自制的老鼠粉与客家料理，享受一顿简单的家乡美食
• 我想骑着那老爷脚车到那旧旧的小学，狭窄的小路与后巷，再到何仙姑庙拜拜，为身边的家人/朋友祈福
• 我想在下雨时分放下那自动式的屋顶，然后把手掌伸在雨中，把玩冰冷的雨水
• 我想像小时的自己生一场大病，躺在楼下的中房，一面聆听大人们谈天，一面用扇子拍打叮着我不放的蚊子，在蚊香味中理清自己的思绪
• 我想亲自下厨煮一顿饭给外公外婆，让他两尝尝我最在行的褒汤
• 我想看外公外婆那非常搞笑的斗嘴，每次都让大家笑到肚子疼

看来，是时候回去走一趟了。。。

Kiki’s magic

I remember watching this animation where kiki the teenage witch learnt that magic was not something that she possessed from birth, rather it was something to be earned and gained.
I never quite understand the theory behind this when I watched it for the 1st time.

Why did she lose her magic? The ability which she’s suppose to hv since birth? Isn’t it supposed to be in her and work all the time when she needed it?

This is after all, not a story about self-discipline, practice makes perfect, or warning ppl not to take their talents for granted that sort of thing. It is about believing, believing strongly that you need and have control on the ability. Even if you are gifted, if you hv no idea why do u hv it in the 1st place or why do u need it, then chances r, it will slip away.

It is perhaps time to find out, why we used to be good in something, but is no longer good in something.