锐气

Since I came back, one of the things I often do while spending time wiv mom is chatting. And yeah, I mean really chatting, the line is something between a mom and a confidant, the mother side is heavier of cos, hoho!!! We chat about basically everything. She wud tell me about her opinions in issues that r circling around the relatives, brother (hers and mine), Chinese history, some of her readings that she can’t wait to share, healthy recipes & lifestyle, ect. As for me, I wud tell her about the time I spent in B. city, how I cooked while chuckling wiv frens, how I fought the chefs, how I woke up late 2 finish my weekly thesis report, ect.

And again, wenever there’s a conversation between 2 women, relationship wud somehow pop up somewhere. And yes, we do talk about relationship. And surprisingly, I find it natural to tell her things that I hv been keeping 2 myself for a long time, those things that only my closest frens or myself knew. This time, I found myself skipping my ex, prince 0.5, and some of the extras that created some whirlwind in my life. No, not bcos I choose to filter these people from mom. Just that I hv realised they are not important enuf for me 2 bring it up in the conversation. It was when I told mom about this person from my university years, that I realised I hv been keeping him deep in the heart, without even telling my close frens, until I hv to. It just came so natural that I mentioned about him, how I used 2 enjoy talking to him, how I was scared by the request that he made, and how I was calm wenever he was there.

“Where is this guy now?” mom asked.
“er… far I guess” Well, I wasn’t quite expect mom 2 ask this.
“You know, u can actually start keeping in touch wiv him and let things roll” mom added.
Whoa!! Mom actually said THAT!! I was…amazed.
“But leh, u r not ready la wiv yr mindset now. Wait till u start working and let the job brush away all your锐气 ” she added.

Well, although mom is liberal in bringing me up, she’s still a traditional Chinese lady. And if she knows how I lost all my锐气 aft the breakup wiv my ex, and I how understand from prince 0.5 that hving锐气 is not my fault, and how I later realise锐气 is where my enthusiasm lies, perhaps mom wud put it differently. Cos I hv told myself to never ever give up what lies in me, or else I wud lose myself and live soulless.

my demand is too high indeed, aft all,我要的只不过是一个容纳得下我的人。