Its your problem not MiNE!!

During my foundation years, I’ve learnt a lot and made frens with a bunch of girls that I know our frenship is meant for a life time. The same goes to the lessons.

There was once I was elected by the Economics teacher to take part in a quiz or something which was held aft schooling hours. Due to transportation problem, I suggested to her to elect another student (aft all, there’re others who r better than me, and I still hv no idea why on earth she sent me). Guess what’s the remark> hey! That’s your problem not my problem! Gosh! I was truly puzzled by this although its indeed how she was suppose to react, aft all, its Madame LAB. It made me felt a sense of guilt at that moment and I knew I will hv 2 take the given opportunity. Yet, I still can’t see the lesson behind all this.

Years later, while hving a lazy afternoon chat, babe told me that our choices of men will shrink due to the fact that asian man in general don’t quite accept the fact that their partner has a higher degree as compared to them. And my impromptu remark was> hey! Its their problem, not mine! And it strikes me that, well, there u go…that’s what LAB wanted me 2 learn.

As a woman and as a person, we’ve always taken responsibility of others’ burden although we did nothing 2 make it happen. We felt its our problem and indeed our fault which contributes 2 the burden. Yet, it’s not!

Just like Madame LAB, giving me the opportunity doesn’t mean she has to solve my transportation problem. And it’s up to me to decide. If I appreciate the chance, I’ll solve my problem and make it happen rather than using it as an excuse and expect others to take responsibility of it.

The same goes to relationship. I do agree that not many guys in general have the confidence of dating another gal who has higher education as compared 2 themselves. Yet, they r the ones who have 2 boost up their confidence and change a little of their distorted mindset. Aft all, I thought if u love a person, u’ll have 2 appreciate and cherish who they really are rather than what made them today. If hving a higher degree will make yr self-esteem goes low, then I think anything can make this person feel the lack of self-confidence. And 2 be fair, he loves his self-esteem more than he loves u. blaming another person to take charge of your OWN problem is indeed irresponsible!

No wonder…its human nature aft all!

No wonder PR girl used 2 tell me, it’s a pity to eat alone
No wonder when nobd is in the house, babe felt nothing but emptiness
No wonder aft accepting the fact, butterfly thought she’s different from the rest
No wonder Prince needed frens around, when the moon is no longer there

All these r because
the self in us
while facing those ppl who r close 2 us
is formed and structured
according 2 how we hope they wud perceive us
when we r all by ourselves
we tried our best
2 get occupied
Do something
Make our mind bz
But what we r actually doing
Is ignoring the self deep in us
Avoid the voice that’s calling out

Hey! Look here…
I’m the u
Can’t u see?

Perhaps
That’s human nature
When left alone
We thought
We r facing loneliness
But, in fact
We r facing ourselves
The part of us
that has been living along
All these years
Yet, it never gain our attention
Or
It was us who decided
Its not there
That’s not me
No

After all
We hardly
Or never look at it
So its natural
To forget who u r
And why u r doing what u r doing

Ahh..
No wonder
I wish 2 go home
when flooded with a sea of ppl
that I seemed 2 know but
know nothing
cos
I guess
I felt more comfortable
Spending time with the self in me

I finally understand

Where shud i bring u?!

Since the day I came back from Melbourne and Sydney, I hv a sudden interest in planning trips and giving tips 2 frens who intend 2 visit these 2 places…cos, aft all, I planned my own trip based on the info given by frens, internet and my own interest… and of course the biggest token I can ever offer is where 2 grab GOOD food, cos I found out those awesome places by accident…

perhaps this is what travelling alone is all about, u can do whatever u like, stop when u r tired, eat when u r hungry and rest when u simply wanna take a pic/observe the place and the ppl. …

Then, the other day, while chatted wiv mooncake girl, she told me that she hv always wanted 2 visit me in Nilai, but opportunities doesn’t always chance upon us. And, I’ve actually made a similar list for her too, hoho… that’s how my life back home: quiet, windy and peaceful, nothing much happen in the small town, really. so, here goes the list:

1. visit KLIA (don’t kick me hey!) and F1 just from the outside, cos its impossible 2 get in unless we purchase the super expensive tickets!

2. visit the tiny piece of triangle land and grab whatever u want>> papaya, mangoes + bananas (if the fruits r still there cos always get stolen!), shallot, veges, pandan leave, sugar cane, serai, chilli padi ..and whatever my parents hv planted I hv no idea! Besides, I can even show u the cactus and ribena tree!! Wahaha… ^O^

3. show u around nilai town, the club house and those nice houses around

4. in terms of best OUTside food, I’ll bring u to the Wong’s Hakka noodle for breakie, BBN for afternoon tea & kuih, & mamak stalls (the chees/garlic naan is superb) for supper

5. in terms of home-made food, if mom is around she’ll cook (I wud request mom 2 make mee hun ge if she agrees! Cos that’s my favourite and u don’t get 2 eat that much in Penang.) and I can make pie!!

6. If I can afford, perhaps can bring you 2 Long seng & try out the “Buddha Leaping Wall” & the malay honey crab in Seremban!!

7. in the morning, u can choose either 2 follow my dad for golfing or my mom for taichi, cos the air is real fresh in the morning!!

8. visit the pasar pagi on Sun and u’ll get a feel of the Malay market

9. AND of course, roaming around my house, not big but cosy.

10. tell me what u intend 2 do, I’ll try my best 2 make it happen!

mmm…seems really plain and flat hoh....but, thats’s how my life basically is back home! ^_^ I’m indeed missing home!

Wheel of events & happenings!

aft hving a chat wiv mom y'day, i felt a whole lot better! i really needed it man! esp when there's so many mishap that occured 2 ppl around me, those that i cared....
************
for mooncake girl, i pray & pray and pray! hope u r strong in facing the downturn in yr family. realy sorry i woke u up in such an embarrassing call that morning..cos i was afraid that it might b improper...yet gain, my desire 2 do so is broken loose... hope i didn;t scared aunty cos she was so surprised when she knew i called...hoho..paise...

mooncake fest is around the corner, & again it reminded me of u & yr famly. although its easy 4 me 2 say ignore those so called relatives, still its yr life, don;t let them dictate yr emotion. i came from a big family as well, and i DO understand....

*********
for prince 0.5, i'll put it this way. its natural that u r fear of the responses given by yr ex (or is she still yr gf, depends on u again on yr definition). u r not sure of what the heck that's ahead. still, avoding is worse than making the wrong decision. do what yr heart & mind tells u. cos this time, i hv no idea what i shud say wen u asked me that question, it just gave me the feeling that: sigh! u r back 2 the hole again, and in future, u'll jump on it again & again &again..... being a fren that hv known u for years, i felt angry towards how other ppl can manipulate u in such ways, but 2 b fair, its what u've chosen. there's many ways in loving a person. u can choose a way that'll make u miserable OR u can choose a way that's leading u 2 paradise. hving thought that, i won't blame that person, cos its u the one who've decided.

usually, wen frens r hving relationship probs, i;ll say: think what u yr self and BOTH of u hv done that hv resulted in what it is today... do u wanna split or continue 2 work on it? but there r also times i told frens, enuf is enuf. quit is perhaps not the best option, but its a decision that requires courage ... unless of course u wanna turn back in future. either way, if that's the way u'll b happy, go ahead man. that's how u learn, grow and live.

************
for myself, thanks 2 mom! nobd knows better than mothers! indeed. and i admitted when mom said > u used 2 b that kinda person when the more other ppl want u 2 do something the more u'll head towards the opposite way. indeed, BUT, that's just part of it la. anyways, 2 b fair 2 myself, i'll reconsider the advice given by uncle, cos i understand that, he cares, just that its not the way i wanted it. but i'll still listen and think about it, k?

looking back at those tarot cards that i've got, i hope i can utilise them & keep myself moving on. i hv what i need already, next is taking action and putting it IN THE RIGHT place! zendagi migzara... d(^_^)b