ching ming shi jie yu fen fen
Dear grandpa aka ah gong,
Hi! How hv u been? This might sounds a little too late, but just 2 let u know, I’m back 4 good. This year, I can’t visit u at nirvana park again! Soli la, I hv been missing this since…well, when was the last time I sat beside yr terrace house and say hi to all yr neighbours? At least 5 years rite? Real soli la, I really wanna come this year but the date that ah mah picked will b the day I’m heading 2 png 4 work. so, I guess I’ll chat wiv u rite here, and I know, somehow, u r rite there.
Since I came back aft graduation, there has been a string of events. Job-seeking, Chinese new year, packing, unloading, moving out, meeting wiv clients, learning while I work, deciding if I shud let go the person that I like, election, and of cos spending time wiv mom & dad & bing.
Perhaps, due 2 the range of food I had lately, my lifestyle or the weak & trd side of me whenever I got home, dad always make sure I hv all the things I need b4 he gave me a ride back 2 danau. Bing wud give me all sorts of info that he thinks is necessary, banking, internet, credit card, ect. And for the N time, mom has been asking me: “why don’t we get u a new car, so that u can travel daily 2 work from home?”
Can u imagine ar, ah gong? The one that they will see EVERYDAY when I get home from a day’s work, hectic schedule wiv 1h travelling by car 2 get home plus an empty stomach? And when I reach home, I wud either start telling them about work or the worse part, bcom speechless day by day. Is work hard? It cud b at times. And in order 2 solve the obstacles and learn from it, I need 2 do my thinking, alone, all by myself. Strictly on my own. U know? The times that u don’t wanna throw the emotional package 2 those that r close 2 u. u just wanna solve it yrself.
All these years, there r times I found myself dealing wiv different worlds, at work, different circles of frens, and home. And 2 b honest, ONLY the world of my own that I felt totally safe 2 show the real side of me. The one that spend on the things that she can afford and like, not the one who spent too much (in my family’s opinion) or did not spend (in my fren’s opinion); the one that feels comfortable in her sandals and shorts plus singlet, not the one that needs 2 dress up; the one that feels free 2 laugh rather than suppressing the freedom 2 laugh; the one that is confident 2 decide the route that she wanted, even if it is 不知好歹 in the world’s opinion.
I asked mom the other day, if she and dad have been disappointed on the decisions that I have made on my life? Just like a million times, she looked at me deeply and say:” its your life! Not ours” and I know, if this question is directed 2 u, ah gong,
U will start yr lecture, raise yr eyebrows and try 2 convince me. Yet, just like the million things that I hv done, u wud b there. Even if the decisions that I have made in life have hurt u, or disappointed u. (or, wud u?)
hope I get 2 pray by yr side next year, enjoy the scenery around yr house, & tell u how I hv grown up within a year. Happy ching ming. Send my regards 2 yr neighbours. Remember 2 enjoy the food ya!
p/s: is yr favourite food really JUST white rice?
Hi! How hv u been? This might sounds a little too late, but just 2 let u know, I’m back 4 good. This year, I can’t visit u at nirvana park again! Soli la, I hv been missing this since…well, when was the last time I sat beside yr terrace house and say hi to all yr neighbours? At least 5 years rite? Real soli la, I really wanna come this year but the date that ah mah picked will b the day I’m heading 2 png 4 work. so, I guess I’ll chat wiv u rite here, and I know, somehow, u r rite there.
Since I came back aft graduation, there has been a string of events. Job-seeking, Chinese new year, packing, unloading, moving out, meeting wiv clients, learning while I work, deciding if I shud let go the person that I like, election, and of cos spending time wiv mom & dad & bing.
Perhaps, due 2 the range of food I had lately, my lifestyle or the weak & trd side of me whenever I got home, dad always make sure I hv all the things I need b4 he gave me a ride back 2 danau. Bing wud give me all sorts of info that he thinks is necessary, banking, internet, credit card, ect. And for the N time, mom has been asking me: “why don’t we get u a new car, so that u can travel daily 2 work from home?”
Can u imagine ar, ah gong? The one that they will see EVERYDAY when I get home from a day’s work, hectic schedule wiv 1h travelling by car 2 get home plus an empty stomach? And when I reach home, I wud either start telling them about work or the worse part, bcom speechless day by day. Is work hard? It cud b at times. And in order 2 solve the obstacles and learn from it, I need 2 do my thinking, alone, all by myself. Strictly on my own. U know? The times that u don’t wanna throw the emotional package 2 those that r close 2 u. u just wanna solve it yrself.
All these years, there r times I found myself dealing wiv different worlds, at work, different circles of frens, and home. And 2 b honest, ONLY the world of my own that I felt totally safe 2 show the real side of me. The one that spend on the things that she can afford and like, not the one who spent too much (in my family’s opinion) or did not spend (in my fren’s opinion); the one that feels comfortable in her sandals and shorts plus singlet, not the one that needs 2 dress up; the one that feels free 2 laugh rather than suppressing the freedom 2 laugh; the one that is confident 2 decide the route that she wanted, even if it is 不知好歹 in the world’s opinion.
I asked mom the other day, if she and dad have been disappointed on the decisions that I have made on my life? Just like a million times, she looked at me deeply and say:” its your life! Not ours” and I know, if this question is directed 2 u, ah gong,
U will start yr lecture, raise yr eyebrows and try 2 convince me. Yet, just like the million things that I hv done, u wud b there. Even if the decisions that I have made in life have hurt u, or disappointed u. (or, wud u?)
hope I get 2 pray by yr side next year, enjoy the scenery around yr house, & tell u how I hv grown up within a year. Happy ching ming. Send my regards 2 yr neighbours. Remember 2 enjoy the food ya!
p/s: is yr favourite food really JUST white rice?
posted by annie_lal at 10:44 pm
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